Is Money The New Sex?
I remember quite vividly when Sex and the City was first appeared in Australia. Everyone was talking about it – four women who aired the details of their sex lives like, well, like only men had previously been socially allowed (and expected?) to do so. Somewhere in there though, Sex and the City became more about the clothes than the content and suddenly the fact that Samantha Jones was “try-sexual” was mildly interesting and amusing, but not top of the water-cooler gossip list.
Even now, I can tell you who my best friend’s “first” was, but I wouldn’t have a clue how much she earns. She’s allergic to latex and has her own leather wrist-cuffs, but I wouldn’t know what her investment strategy looks like. Sound familiar?
I’ve heard many theories on this matter which range from “folks only talk about it if they don’t have it” to “it’s vulgar to discuss money”. Robert Kiyosaki and David Bach both claim that wealthy people discuss financial issues at length amongst each other, but anecdotal evidence would have us believe that only the self-made rich do, whereas old money does not. Additionally, recent research from ANZ (the bank) indicates that money is a taboo subject amongst women. Astonishingly, their findings show that for 98% of women money issues and concerns are off the conversation agenda alltogether.
What is it about money that makes us so shy? Interestingly, there seems to be no general consesus. Some say that it stems from our childhood when we inevitably asked our parents how much they were paid and they gave us an evasive answer. Others claim that as our society equates money with power, it’s become a proxy for self-worth and self-esteem. Moreover, when someone asks us a financially-related question, we feel we’re being judged. Regardless as to the reason though, the bottom line is that you’ll seldom sip cocktails and hear your girlfriends tell you about how they’re living payday to payday or be kicking the footy with your mates and chat about how you suspect not everyone is up to their eyeballs in credit card debt.
Whilst some might read this and think ’so what’ I’m here to tell you that one of the reasons I tried and failed many times to get rid of my consumer debt once and for all was because I didn’t discuss it. I didn’t tell anyone just how bad things were – I kept up appearances and slapped dinner with friends on my credit card. Discussing it with my fiance was the best thing I ever did… and now when friends tell *me* they’re saving money, I keep this in mind. I invite them out for coffee to catch up, or have bring-it-from-home lunch in the park and avoid sending them ’sale sale sale’ emails for local stores.
Above all though, remember. You’re not alone! As I wrote recently in a guest post for Savings Guide – household debt is currently at an all time high in Australia. In June 2008 alone, the average Australian spent 12% of their income repaying credit card debt. With figures like this, chances are no one you talk to about your money concerns is going to be judging you. If anything, they too will be relieved they’re not on their own either. So don’t try and fight a one-person battle. Make your efforts a team event.
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